heartache

Damn I can't believe this that you could lie to me
Say that you still feel me but you kill me not physically but emotionally
Where I take longer to heal
How could it be the end when i thought we'd just begun.
In which I love you more everyday
Brighter than glow
But that was so yesterday's feeling
I am hurting so deeply, it's beyond all words

But I allow it, understand it.. get to know the whys behind it and then eventually let it go and move on.

LAYZEE

L.A.Z.Y

To you I love

Today I got a sudden call from someone. Someone that I cherish the most after my mother. He was telling me that he can't get rid me out of his mind, eventho we can't be together but the feeling is so strong wherever he goes my shadow will be following him and he did say that he still feel guilty to talk to other girls. That's what he said. Thanks for the conversation thanks for the call. It really makes me feel so much better.

I can't lie to myself that I don't love you anymore. Time really taught me how to be more matured person how to move on and how to live. I'm so sorry that I've to let you go. Not to say I got someone else. It's hard for me to be with you after what had happened. Don't think that I'm happy with this kindda situation it just that I can't show to you how much I love you how much I miss you how much I want you and how much I need you. Don't say that I stop loving you already. No.. I swear I love you. Yes I do. I still do. And I'll always do.

I can't forget all the crazy shhh.. we used to do
You was doing too much
I wasn't doing enough
That's what your friends are saying
You got a man anyway
I can't explain it neither
I ain't never wanna leave ya
Hell ya its hard to walk away when I see ya
When I see ya I remember the day
You put your shoes on and moved on
Before I could say
I can't forget how we used to be
Our life from day to day
Hoping maybe you'll come back
And though I tell myself not to be afraid
To move on but it seems I can't
Though a new man has given me attention
It ain't the same as your affection
Though I know I should be content
In the back of my mind
I can't help but question
Does she kiss you on the forehead
Before we play
Show up on my doorstep
Does she call you in the middle of the day
Just to say hey baby I love you
Like you used to
The things we did
The way we shared our fantasies
Just you and me
My friend, my love, my family
How did we loose a love that seemed meant to be
Sometimes I kiss him and wish that it was you I'm kissing
Sometimes I miss him and wish that it was you I'm missing
Sometimes I hug him and wish that it was you I was hugging
And I realize how much I'm bugging
I miss you
I can't explain this feeling
I think about it everyday
And even though we've moved on
It gets so hard to walk away

Everywhereeee

Camera freak. That's always girls do. I just realize that guys did the same thing too. CAMWHORE. hahaha.. Well, these are some few pics that taken with my camera. And now I'm so free to transfer all of em as i just found my usb cable that hiding under my bed. I wonder how it went there. hmph

with piks @ kopitiam when i need the toilet for emergency use. LOL

nicer than nice = them

HELEN, this is when we were waiting for you okay.

glow party

i was so in love with the glow thingy thing.

before the vortex ride @ bukit jalil (u dont wanna how we look like after the ride) lol

@warners. Damn its seriously a small world,we bumped into someone there.

Fresh oyster

ready to eattttttttt (as the result ......... )

xoxo

K-box is just a next pit stop for me.

It was just another day out with Helen in Ipoh. Since we're both damn emo. So called "emo", we decided to go to K-box for karaoke. Normally, people go there to sing but we all hahaha screaming and shouting out loud. I admit I can't sing. As Eddy said, whenever he listen to me singing, he feel that I can raise the dead. Hahaha..But for me, my singing is not that bad. At least the person who love me said that he love me singing whenever we were lying down together. Hee. :)

the emo face..LOL

the reflection from the shining paper really helps me to make up. haha

xoxo

When she's back in Ipoh.

Helenness Chong. is back in Ipoh. And i'm glad she's back at the right timing. Lucky me. After what had happened in the past, i'm glad it's really over now. I appreciate whoever that supported me. Thanks. And she's one of them. Thanks to Piks and Elvira too.

From the day she's back here, We hit Kopitiam east, Friend's cafe, Kopitiam Gunung Rapat, Barroom, Black Canyon, K-box, Matt's hse, Sneha's Car, Barbeza, etc etc.

with SashaMyKinder-mate

sasha/dee/soph/helen/julie

helen/elvira/julie

ekor/badan

piks/viv/julie/helen

elvira/julie

xoxo

Untitled

There's too many things i wanna talk about that i often end up not putting anything down in the end! it gets frustrating! and well alot of the stuff on my mind are personal and i'm not that open to the concept of complete online exhibitionism, know what i mean? this blog is just for fun, for serious, personal writing u can go look for my secret-identity blog ( as if imma rockstar ) hahaha..yeah guess i'm a rather private person. wonder how i got so reserved recently...i used to be really friendly n open with everyone but i just changed as i got older. Wait... should i be more friendly as i get older and older each day?My timing is just ticking in opposite way.Sigh..

It's already 4.30 in the morning. What am i doing in this very very very early in the morning? Gosh..I really have to force myself to sleep..As i'm meeting my ekor and the gang in the afternoon. Anyone free? hee..

Goodnight.

xoxo